First of all...I promise to get back to the Made to Crave weekly blogs soon but life has caused some big interruptions. I am still trying to catch my breath from all that has gone on this last month.
Living in the Adirondacks, we often don't see spring until much later than those in the south. This year, we didn't have a spring. We had rain, flooding, and cold weather but not spring. Summer has come upon us all of the sudden. I am not sure when it happened but we are planting our garden and playing in the back yard already. Just like spring slipped by, I feel like May slipped by without even being aware of it.
Part of this was because of the unexpected cold virus that decided to invade our house for over two weeks. By the time it was done, we all had been hit with it to some degree. In the week after we were hit with Jack's head injury, the death of my grandfather, and Emma's heart procedure.
Jack's head wound was not tramatic for me but it was definitely an adventure. We were over at our neighbor's house where Jack was playing outside with their son, Theigen. I was working with Kandi in the kitchen getting dinner ready, when I heard Jack scream. Kandi's husband carried Jack inside, and I literally saw a hole in his head. He fell and hit his head on a rock that was sharp enough to create a puncture wound. I could see down to the bone and there was very little blood, which is unusual with a head wound. Needless to say, off to urgent care we went. He was a trooper and left covered in stickers and tattoos along with his bandaged head.
A few days later, I heard from Mom that Grandpa was not expected to make it through the night. He had been having quite a few close calls in the last few months and we knew it wouldn't be long. He was able to celebrate his 90th birthday with the family in March and so it was bittersweet news. He passed away about 15 minutes later.
We were thankful that he was not suffering any more, especially as his quality of life had definitely decreased, but it still is saying goodbye. The one comfort I found was in the fact that I know he is in heaven. The time with family celebrating my grandfather's life was precious but definitely very busy, as I helped with the Obiturary, Euology, and video slide show. I was honored to be able to share at the funeral and grateful to honor his service to our country and his heritage he left through our family.
Emma's procedure was two days after the funeral, so we had to travel back from Pennsylvania right after the funeral. Tuesday we headed out to Albany Med. at 6:30 am to prepare for the long day ahead. It was a few hours before she actually had the procedure done and we were at her beside. She was frustrated that she was unable to move but bounced back quickly and by the next day had decided that walking was much more fun than crawling.
Having the stress of waiting both for Grandpa to pass and for Emma's procedure to be done and over with has taken an emotional toll on me that I am not bouncing back from as quickly as I had hoped. It is also taking a toll on my diet...I am really having a hard time not just eating whatever. Actually, I feel as if right now I have no self control. I don't know how to change it right now and until I'm out of this funk I'm not sure I have the energy to try!
On a brighter note...my sister was on the local news for her ministry on Mercy Ships!! I am so proud of her!
I am someone who has been molded and shaped through the many paths and places I have walked...I have seen little and much...I believe but struggle to have faith...I desire to know God but still at times run from him...I desire life but at times lack the bravery to chase after it...I am me but all that that entails is still a mystery.
2 comments:
oh Amy my heart grieved for you and your family when I heard about the loss of your grandfather. Death of a loved one, even one who believes, is still painful. I am glad that the Lord is reminding you of his grace.
You have been so very busy with a lot of things, and most very emotional things. God's mercy our bigger though :) I know you know that. I completely understand about the lack of self control and almost no energy to try I have been in the same rut this past month.
Carl was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and spent 2 days in the hospital, Zachary ahd a severe allergic reaction to peanut butter and also needed to go to the hospital (he has an epi pen now). Ellie has been furousiouly batteling allergies and I have been one tired and strained Mommy from all of it.
The thing I keep remembering though is i don't think or believe God wants us to face all of our battles at once, sometimes we just aren't strong enough to do so, but we can face them one at a time. I may not be ready to jump vigoursly back into a strong disciplined eating and exercising routine, but I can face that battle one food item at a time.
I hope that this doesn't come across as lecturing or unsympathetic but if we are food worshipers and so easily get strayed away from turning to God and to food instead, I then think these events are all apart of the battle. Turning away from food and to God even when the chocolate, ice cream or in my case, delicious salty snacks, can feel more comforting to me. When in our weakness we are turning to food and God wants us to turn to him instead. It has been so hard for me this past month and i haven't even been through as much as you.
I feel though that we are in this together and I want to be used by God to help give you strength and encouragement in this daily endevour. I hope you feel loved by my comments and not hurt because I say these things as a reminder to both of us.
We should try to chat on the phone sometime if anything just to pray with one another. Encourage and share in the battle together. I know I could use a friend that understands that battle right now.
I love you
My goodness, this past month has been a heavy one! I wish I could give you a hug and take a walk with you...
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