I in no way profess to be a professional in anything. I experiment my way through most things and often by stumbling. I especially find this true with parenting. I feel sorry at times for my first born son, as he ends up being the recipient of much of the experimentation.
That said, my latest experiment has been in potty training. It has not, however, been a one day process. Actually, it has been more like a one year process. "One Year!" you may think. Yes, it's been almost a year. You may think I am crazy or even bordering on insane but I think my experimentation has been going well.
My philosophy and the basis for my experimentation is "Know Thy Child and Thyself". I did not start out with this concept in mind. It has come in retrospect as I have fumbled my way along this trial and error experiment. I started out reading everything I could find about potty training and ended up overwhelmed and confused. Everyone had their own opinions, ideas, and strategies. None of it was bad, it was all great actually. But, there's so much information out there!
I had questions from my husband about how soon all of this was going to happen, as he looked at the family budget and dreamed of eliminating the cost of diapers. He also saw the genetic wonder that is my neighbors son, who was trained by 18 months old.
So, we purchased a potty and dutifully placed it next to ours, bought underwear with boy themes on them, and even, against our will, found the Elmo potty time DVD in which Elmo sings lovingly about pee pee and poopy. We talked about it and showed him the availability of it. I was enthusiastic and hopeful.
However, the summer had come, pregnancy was upon me and trips here and there continued to infiltrate our schedule. I talked about wanting to work on it but it just seemed crazy. I wanted to do it before I was too far along in my pregnancy but had a hard time finding a good block of time and the energy to really go all out and do it. I also did not look forward to dealing with the messes. My husband was convinced I was procrastinating. I was leery about him regressing after Emma arrived. I finally conceded that it was not going to happen. So it was laid to rest.
Lately, however, Jack was having fun whizzing the the tub, so I decided that I was not above rewarding him with a sticker if he peed before getting in the tub, to avoid the contamination. He began to excel at this, even forcing it to come to earn his reward. He was also beginning to communicate when he was peeing or pooping.
So, I decided it was time. Armed with disinfecting wipes, the potty, and big boy underwear, we started off. Monday was spent preparing. We talked about big boy underwear, explained how he would be like daddy, and hyped up the event. Tuesday, he woke up and charged ahead by taking off his diaper and putting on his big boy underwear as soon as he woke up.
That was the most successful part of the day. Needless to say, the novelty of the underwear, meant he wanted to change them all the time. The novelty of being asked if he had to pee wore off after the fifth time. The result was pile of wet underwear, a few pee pees on the potty, a very stressed out mommy, and grumpy son and a half a container of disinfecting wipes down the tubes.
As I pondered the "unsuccessful" day, I figured out a few things:
- I know myself...high stress situations are going to wear me down quick. Therefore trying to go all out for weeks is just not going to work for me.
- I know my son...he is a very active boy with a mind of his own who will balk at continually being made to sit and pee every 20 minutes.
- Slow and gradual potty education as I evaluate his abilities to both communicated and control and understand bodily functions is the best route for us.
1 comment:
I agree! With both Megan and Kyle they potty trained around 3.5 years. I really wanted it to be THEM knowing when they needed to go and doing it, not me being the one potty trained by telling them to try every hour or less.... It worked out for us. When they got older and became more motivated on their own and really understood it, then they were able to figure it out pretty quickly. I haven't started with Caleb and don't plan to until at least next summer.
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