Today we took our little girl back to the Pediatric Cardiologist. She was diagnosed with the same PDA, the same heart problem Jack had. Having gone through this once before makes it both easier and harder. We know what we are in for.
I have been wrestling with God about this for various reasons. It has been hard. She is my baby girl. But, in reaching out to some dear friends I was reminded of one very important point, God loves this little girl far more than I ever could. His hands are so much bigger than mine and he is holding her so carefully.
She is His...she is a gift to us from God and I try to remind myself of that. So, when the day in May comes where we watch her wheeled off down the hospital hall, I know He is holding her when I can't.
I am someone who has been molded and shaped through the many paths and places I have walked...I have seen little and much...I believe but struggle to have faith...I desire to know God but still at times run from him...I desire life but at times lack the bravery to chase after it...I am me but all that that entails is still a mystery.
2 comments:
Oh Amy. My heart breaks for you as you go through this again. But what a wonderful realization, that helped me too!
We love you & are praying!
Amy, Hi! I'm not sure if I have visited your blog before but I was blessed today reading the journey(s) you have been on. My oldest daughter was also born with a small PDA which required monitoring until by God's grace it healed without surgical intervention. However, we've had more than one child "wheeled down the hospital hall" for other reasons and I know those feelings well. God bless you as you continue to hold His hand through these challenges and trials!
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