I should be excited
I should be nesting
I should be down on the floor playing with my son
I should be organizing dinners
I should be praying more, reading my bible more, and serving more
I should be doing, going, cleaning, planning...
My inate instict is fighting against my capabilities and the tension is great!
I have been having more pressure and less energy and yet my mind will not shut off. I have been struggling to not have my physical strength when I have so many mental expectations of myself. I don't like this. I want to be excited and getting ready for our little girl's arrival. I know God and I have some talking to do...
I am someone who has been molded and shaped through the many paths and places I have walked...I have seen little and much...I believe but struggle to have faith...I desire to know God but still at times run from him...I desire life but at times lack the bravery to chase after it...I am me but all that that entails is still a mystery.
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