I am someone who has been molded and shaped through the many paths and places I have walked...I have seen little and much...I believe but struggle to have faith...I desire to know God but still at times run from him...I desire life but at times lack the bravery to chase after it...I am me but all that that entails is still a mystery.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Fear
Hi, I'm Amy and I'm Afraid...yes it feels good to admit it...I am fighting the waves of fear that come when I actually stop. By about 4:00 today I will know if I am going to be a mother. The thing that scares me most right now is that I won't be and that something else is wrong with me...it is a nagging and unsettled feeling and I know all the scripture to spout off to myself but to be honest I feel like the only way to cope is to keep busy. I know I will be find but this apprehension can drive a person batty. Especially because my hopes are up and I really want to be pregnant...I really want a baby. I'm afraid of disappointment and have known the sting of it one to many times...so until 4:00 I'm holding on and after that I will deal with whatever comes up next.
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2 comments:
4:00 is 5 our time. I'm thinking of you today and praying.
we're hoping to hear from the place Robb interviewed last week, today.
hang in there...
got that a backwards. 4 is our 3. whatever.
robb didn't get the job. Hope you get good news.
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