Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Fear

Hi, I'm Amy and I'm Afraid...yes it feels good to admit it...I am fighting the waves of fear that come when I actually stop. By about 4:00 today I will know if I am going to be a mother. The thing that scares me most right now is that I won't be and that something else is wrong with me...it is a nagging and unsettled feeling and I know all the scripture to spout off to myself but to be honest I feel like the only way to cope is to keep busy. I know I will be find but this apprehension can drive a person batty. Especially because my hopes are up and I really want to be pregnant...I really want a baby. I'm afraid of disappointment and have known the sting of it one to many times...so until 4:00 I'm holding on and after that I will deal with whatever comes up next.

2 comments:

Vanessa said...

4:00 is 5 our time. I'm thinking of you today and praying.

we're hoping to hear from the place Robb interviewed last week, today.

hang in there...

Vanessa said...

got that a backwards. 4 is our 3. whatever.

robb didn't get the job. Hope you get good news.