I am someone who has been molded and shaped through the many paths and places I have walked...I have seen little and much...I believe but struggle to have faith...I desire to know God but still at times run from him...I desire life but at times lack the bravery to chase after it...I am me but all that that entails is still a mystery.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
To trust or not to trust...that is the question
I have a choice right now...it is somewhat of a big one. I don't know what's going on in my body and my life for that matter. It is completely out of my control. I want at times to be mad and most of the time I feeling like Jacob in WWF with God but I have to choose. Not because I feel it because frankly I don't but because I know what is true in spite of how I feel and therefore I must trust. I must trust in the fact that God is at work and that more than anything he has a plan even in this. I can sit there and think about all I could have or be or I can put my hope in him.
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I think I've come to the conclusion that not trusting is part of learning to trust. It's somewhere on the continum of the process right along with "gee, i should have trusted Him all along because this is much better than I would have guessed." We wish we could skip over untrust on our way to trust, but it's part of the process.
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